Friday, September 09, 2005

Too Much White!

The other day I shaved after ten months of letting what passes for my beard grow. At about the six month mark it looked decent if not a bit two dimensional. So, I cut it down some and revealed the, shall we say, bald patches, particular to the bottom edge, but I guess I could have shaved to the even point. Though that seems to me to defeat the purpose of not shaving. Getting back to the point, I cut it the once to avoid the subtle threats that I looked like an overweight terrorist. Then Wednesday I took it all off. The scissors now have the name, The Fatenator. First thing I saw with the beard gone is the second chin, solid, not loose and flabby as it could be, and often is on others. Next I saw that the mustache without the beard looks silly, not to mention a bit thin for my liking.

I suppose it's about now I should mention that I've let my hair grow for slightly longer than the beard. It is staying for the foreseeable future. The beard was a bit of a bother, always getting in the way, like curling into my ears, and being something of a trouble eating. The mustache I trimmed regularly though I tried in vain to keep the ends long. The problem with that is you end up sucking them into your mouth while eating just about anything. Also the beard would get into fights with the hair curling around from the back and the brawl would ultimately end up in my ear driving me even further crazy.

Now we come to why, other than keeping friends and family informed and given them a bit of insight--i.e. I don't like hair in my ears--it is that anyone else would care. Not that this will necessarily engage the casual reader, but when I got it all off, mustache included, the first thing I thought was why is Meatloaf in my mirror. To this I started belting out "Bat Out of Hell". Then to get a good look at things I got my glasses on and if I didn't suddenly ask, what is a young Russell Oliver doing in my mirror. This of course led to a lot of finger waving and "I'll buy your jewelry for _cash_!", not to mention a strong sense of fear.

Overall, impressions aside, the overriding thought about me without the beard after so long having it was, "TOO MUCH WHITE"

This persisted for the next day or so. I kept imaging every time I left the mirror that ghostly letters would appear on it spelling out... You guessed it: too much white. This is also given that I rarely get any of that evil sun anyway so too much white pretty much sums me up period. So, if looking like Meatloaf or Cashman, and frightening the spirit world with my paleness isn't enough to send chills down your spine, then well you'll just have to go on living your life without fear. :)

2 Comments:

At 8:36 AM, Blogger T.E.Q. said...

the before picture makes me think you were an Amish person. So maybe the white isn't bad. The Meatloaf sining was amusing. But the Russel Oliver is so you.

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger Robert G. Male said...

Good to see you (electronically speaking) t.e.q. If you didn't see it already, off to the side is a link for Fuzzy Bunny's Blog.

 

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